I'm stressed. I have so much homework and exams to study for. I have to worry about working and all that crap. It is hardest to make yourself go out and practice and do chores when there is so much more weighing on your mind. Everyone thinks "horseback riding" is sooo fun and I'm lucky because I get to do it EVERy day. I agree, I am very blessed to have the oppertunity but it's no stroll in the park. When I work my ass off to have money to enter $300 worth of barrel races this weekend, I can't afford to loose. I mean I do, but that just means I have to work that much harder the next week to make it up. Honestly, I do not want to go out and ride and clean stalls and feed my herd of animals. But I can't just take the night off and go do that stuff whenever I feel like it. My horse depends on me. Sometimes it is a great feeling, but tonight it sucks. It pisses me off so much when girl walk around pretending they're a cowgirl because they drive a truck or wear boots or ride a horse every now and then. This life is rewarding, but it is also very hard. Not just the physical exhaustion I feel every night when I finally come inside, but mentally just draining. So, if you were ever thinking of getting a horse and trying this sport of barrel racing, my advice is don't do it unless you can see past all the adrenaline rushes and rodeos to the grit of it all; everything else in your life will suffer because it has to be number one priority. I struggle with this myself but I've came to terms with it. So, sorry college and work and friends but I chose this lifestyle and am fully prepared to make the sacrifices. I love what I do and wouldn't change it for anything in the world, but ya, sometimes it sucks.
Ah, venting feels good.
Headed outside...
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